Friday, July 14, 2023

Blog Tour! Becoming Flawesome by Kristina Mand-Lakhiani ~ Excerpt and First Chapter! #BecomingFlawesome @pumpupyourbook


Becoming Flawesome
 
Becoming Flawesome by Kristina Mand-Lakhiani
Published by Hay House, 280 pages
Genre: Nonfiction

Perfection. We all dream of living by it, feeling it, being it…

And it is in the name of perfection that we demonise our flaws, make ourselves ‘less-than,’ and render ourselves vulnerable to the shame of not being good enough.

We live in a society that subliminally encourages us to wear metaphorical masks, slay our inner sadness, and ignore our imperfections, or as Kristina refers to them, her ‘dragons.’ Even within the world of personal development and spirituality, toxic perfectionism lurks in the shadows.

In Kristina’s upcoming book Becoming Flawesome #BecomingFlawesome, she reflects on her own story, her battle against perfectionism, and what it took for her to return to what she now deems to be her most authentic self. Being described as “10 years worth of therapy in one book,Becoming Flawsome is a celebration of our whole selves, warts and all, and the glory that is to be found in living in our truth.

Every chapter is closed with reflection points and exercises to encourage the readers to dive deep into the essence of who they truly are, what their values are, and how to navigate an oftentimes overwhelming world.

In this book, Kristina breaks the mould as she takes the reader on a journey through:

      The dark, controversial side of ‘personal growth,’ and the insecurities that thrive on it

      Self-care vs self-love, and why you need both

      What authenticity actually is, beyond the buzz

      The ‘Hermione Syndrome,’ and how to diagnose if you’re secretly suffering from it

      How to create aligned lifestyle habits that stick

      Why the more you judge others, the more you judge yourself

      Societal masks, and how to remove them from your psyche

      Imposter syndrome in the world of high-flyers

      Emotional literacy: how to cope with strong, painful emotions healthily

Amazon | Mind Valley Books


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Except

The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life

Introduction

Let’s Begin

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a good book has to start with a proper introduction.

And by “proper” I mean that it has to prime the reader for the journey, raise excitement and set expectations, explain the process, and make reading the book an experience both profitable and smooth. After all, we are about to spend some time together on this journey.

Therefore, I was not surprised when on the first meeting with my publisher I was asked if I would consider writing a proper introduction to my book. You see—the original manuscript started with a story of me pondering my future book while standing in the shower, warm water running down my back, and my finger absentmindedly drawing random patterns on the fogged-up glass.

I started this book during the long years of successive COVID confinements, and I was planning to self-publish it because I wanted the freedom to make decisions about the book—how to write, what to write, what stories to include, what kind of experience to offer to my reader. So, naturally, it wasn’t following any universally acknowledged truths or conventions.

Yet, by the time I had to present my book-baby to the world, I felt that I wanted to give it the best possible future, and I had to face the big decision between my heart and my brain: Will it be self-published (heart), or will I work with a traditional publisher (brain)? Going the traditional way meant facing more choices between my quirky and obstinate self-expression and conventional ways of doing things.

This book is about finding your way back to yourself, about understanding who you really are, accepting your dents and scratches, your quirky uniqueness and even your flaws. It is about thriving in being unapologetically you, most flawesomely.

This book has been through the hands of several editors ever since I put the last stop on its original manuscript. This journey has been both emotional and transformative for me. I had to face my biggest dragon by far—my obstinate need for pure self-expression—over and over again.

When do you follow convention, and when do you stick to your own principles and values?

There is no simple answer to this question, except: you have to learn to balance.

If you follow all the rules that your peers expect you to follow, you bet all there is on a slim chance of the grand prize, but you do it at the price of your own unique self-expression. At times, I felt like I had to “sell my soul to the devil” for a chance at success.

But if you obstinately stick to your own unique quirks and principles, you might end up being unheard and misunderstood so universally that there is no point in writing a book. For it is the readers who make a writer. Without the readers, a book is just a private diary.

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Reader, will you judge me if I tell you that this book is a delicate balance between convention and my own uniqueness? Of course, I want you to succeed. But I cannot give you the proper introduction to my book because every book is a journey. This book has been my journey, and now it is yours. I walked my path to my true self, to understanding what makes me truly me . . . and what of that unique quirkiness is simply noise. You see, your flaws and your dragons are there for a reason—they make you who you are, but they also hold the key to your biggest value, to your mightiest strengths, if you choose to look your dragons in the eye.

Now I am hoping that you will take this journey with me to your unique destination—to finding the path back to you. I will be your companion on this journey, but it is yours to take.

So why wouldn’t I tell you what’s ahead? Imagine if Gandalf told Bilbo Baggins that on his journey, he would encounter trolls, go through a perilous enchanted forest, and face a dragon in a far-away mountain. Wouldn’t that be a bit of a spoiler?

I want you to take this journey back to you without any spoilers, with an open heart, and trust that the destination is going to be worth your effort. Because becoming flawesome is the best gift you can give to yourself.

So, if you are ready, let’s begin!

First Chapter

AUTHENTICITY OF THE SECOND DEGREE

The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.— RITA MAE BROWN

“I’ve missed you,” said my friend when I walked into the office one day. Without even thinking, I blurted out: “I missed me too!”

I said it, and suddenly, like a vinyl record that had been forcefully stopped with a screeching sound, I paused and gasped. I was missing myself. Myself?!

Don’t get me wrong. I was fully functional and operating at 100 percent. I was showing up in the office, attending meetings, going to events and costume parties, speaking on stage, hanging out with friends, and being an engaged parent. Some even called me an inspiration.

But I was moving around in a fog, living my life but, actually, just whiling away the time given to me. And while my life was happening, I was missing one important ingredient—myself.

When did I slip away and move on without noticing the missing protagonist of my own movie?

I was 40 when I started suspecting that I was living a lie. Not a bad lie. Not a complete and utter lie. 

Just a little pretending—a mask here and there, a little playing along to fit in.
Just about . . . 5 percent of a lie. And 95 percent true.

But can one be 95 percent honest and authentic? I think that authenticity and honesty are absolutes. 

Authenticity is binary. You are either authentic or not. And so is honesty—you are either honest or not. You cannot be mostly honest. Or mostly authentic.

There is this funny exchange in one of my favourite novels by Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita. The exchange happens between the main antagonist, Woland, and a manager of a restaurant. Woland says that the fish in the restaurant is rotten, and the manager replies: “It was delivered yesterday, it was second-degree fresh.” To which Woland replies: “There’s only one degree of freshness—the first, which makes it also the last. If the fish is second-degree fresh, it means it’s rotten.”

And so, by the age of 40, I was done with the “second-degree authenticity.” I longed to be myself, fully, unapologetically, 100 percent. I was lost. And I wanted to find the path back to myself.

Reflection Points

Throughout this book, I am going to invite you to pause for a moment and ask yourself questions.

I call such exercises “moments of introspection.” I believe that true growth is fuelled by curiosity. It is not my ideas that matter, but the questions that you ask yourself. And the first question that I invite you to ask yourself is this: Why did you decide to read this book?

What made you pick up a book about becoming flawesome and living authentically? Curiosity? Advertising? Your own questions that you are trying to find answers to? And what do you expect to achieve by reading this book?

Your journey back to yourself is yours to take, and its success depends on how committed you are to this path.

About the author

Kristina Mand-Lakhiani is an international speaker, entrepreneur, artist, philanthropist, and mother of 2 kids. As a co-founder of Mindvalley, a leading publisher in the personal growth industry, Kristina dedicated the last 20 years of her career from teachers like Michael Beckwith, Bob Proctor, Lisa Nichols, and many more.

She started her career in a government office in her native Estonia and, by her mid-20s, achieved a level of success mostly known to male politicians at the end of their careers. It was shortly after that Kristina and her then-husband Vishen founded Mindvalley. From a small meditation business operating out of the couple’s apartment in New York, the company quickly grew into a global educational organization offering top training for peak human performance to hundreds of thousands of students all around the world.

Kristina believes life is too important to be taken seriously and makes sure to bring fun into every one of her roles: as a teacher, mother, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and world traveller. Kristina helps her students to virtually hack happiness by taking them through her unique framework - “Hacking happiness” - a unique framework of balancing your life, taking in every moment, and paying close attention to the small daily choices. 

Kristina is also the author of three transformational quests - "7 Days To Happiness", "Live By Your Own Rules.” and "The Art of Being Flawesome". Kristina talks about personal transformation, authenticity, understanding and accepting oneself, and a path to happiness.

In July 2023, with the help of Hay House Publishing, Kristina releases her very first book - "Becoming Flawesome" #BecomingFlawesome. In her book, Kristina shares her own journey from being on top of a personal growth empire like Mindvalley to stepping aside, conscious uncoupling from her husband, and walking her path towards being more honest with herself.

Connect with Kristina

Website | Facebook | LinkedIn4/

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