Book Blitz! Mr. Not Your Savior! by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway #MrNotYourSavior @XpressoTours

 

Mr. Not Your Savior! by Alina Jacobs
(The Seattle Svenssons, #2)
Publication date: August 5th 2025
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

When your mean boss asks you if you’re ready to admit defeat—and move out of his car…you wonder where you went wrong in life.

Two weeks ago, I was an optimistic office girl with a Pinterest vision board and a dream.

Now? I’m standing in a billionaire’s penthouse office, trying not to throw a donut at his smug, perfect face.

McCarthy Svensson is my new boss-slash-personal tormentor.

Though he thinks he’s my only protector.

He’s wrong. He’s way worse than the merry-go-round of ex fiancés who may or may not be stalking me, including ex-fiancé number one of three, who fakes his death then pops up out of a casket. Alive.

Yes, I have a messy dating life.

I like to think it makes me unique and quirky!

He doesn’t seem to think so.

When he growls, “I’m not helping you until you admit you need me,” I slam a binder against his chest and smile sweetly.

“Pick your fake girlfriend, buddy. Deadline’s midnight.”

He smirks. “As long as she’s nothing like you.”

Cool.

Now all I have to do is convince this ice-cold bastard that I’m exactly what he needs…

No not like that! I’m trying to save his reputation and my job.

And I’m not saving either if I keep letting him finger me in the back seat of his limo…gulp.

Stalkers, hot but toxic bosses, a granny with a flamethrower… This full-length, stand-alone, enemies-to-lovers romantic comedy with all of the crazy laughs and of course the perfect happily ever after!

Goodreads | Amazon

*****************************

EXCERPT

I lean over. I might not be pissing on Brock’s grave, but I am going to spit on him. Symbolically, mostly. I don’t want to go to jail for defiling a corpse. Bethany really would fire me then.

But as I lean over, there’s motion.

I’m literally losing it, I think.

His corpse hasn’t just smiled, has it?

“B-B—Brock?” I stammer, then I scream when a cold hand shoots up and grabs my neck.

“Vampire! Help! Zombie!” I slap at him.

Still screaming, I scramble back, tripping over chairs, falling and banging my knees. My dress hem rides up my stress-eating-enhanced thighs as I try to escape that unholy thing in the coffin.

It’s sitting up with cold, lifeless eyes.

“Call the police! Call the army! Help!” I look around wildly for someone with a flamethrower or a gun.

Except… I’m the only one upset. No one is freaked out that Brock has risen from the dead. No one is screaming from fear. Instead, they’re… laughing?

“Oh my god!” Brock is clutching his sides. “Oh my fucking god, your face!”

His friends from the YouTube channel are circling vultures with cameras as everyone howls at me.

“Did you get her falling?” One of the camera men motions to the other.

I grab my skirt. “What the hell? Are you kidding me? This was a prank?”

“I can’t believe you fell for it!” Brock’s laughing hysterically in the casket while I sob on the floor.

My ex leaps out of the coffin and swaggers over to me. “Surprise! I always knew you cared, baby.”

The cameras are in my face as he crouches down in front of me.

“Aww, you’re crying over me. Come here, give me a hug.”

I’m in shock; I don’t know what I’m doing as I let him wrap his arms around me.

My ex leans in to kiss me on the head.

“Hey, man, you’re ruining the shot,” one of the cameramen complains.

“I don’t give a fuck about your fucking bullshit YouTube channel.” A massive arm wraps around my waist, then I’m yanked upright and back.

I cling to McCarthy as he holds me, my legs jelly.

The room is spinning.

I’m going to puke.

I left Brock after he played one too many stupid jokes on me—and now this?

“Why would you do this?” I whimper. “Make me think you’re dead?”

“The content, man.”

“Don’t fucking talk to her.” McCarthy tucks me protectively to his side.

****************************

About the author

I write the kind of books I love—romantic comedies featuring snarly guys with hearts of gold, kick-ass heroines, and a swoon-worthy happily ever after! Also wine. And cupcakes.

When I’m not writing I can be found drinking tea, surrounded by my massive to-be-read pile! So many books...

You can connect with me on social media or find information on my books at my website.

Sign up for my newsletter so that you can get information about new releases, giveaways, and more!

Connect with Alina

Website | Facebook | Goodreads

Bookbub | Instagram | Newsletter

Mr. Not Your Savior! Giveaway

*********************

Be sure to check the sidebar for my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! It’s Mother-Pucking Christmas! by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #MotherPuckingChristmas @AlinaJWrites @XpressoTours

 

It’s Mother-Pucking Christmas! by Alina Jacobs

(Maplewood Falls #1)

Publication date: November 21st 2024

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

When your grandmother stalks the star hockey player on the rival team because “You need a husband, Dakota—you’re not getting any younger!” it’s Christmas crazy on ice.

It is not, however, the start of our great love story.

I don’t date guys on that team.

He doesn’t do casual, drunken hookups, which is all the captain of the Icebreakers is getting from moi.

I give him the finger and tell him I hope he loses his teeth out there.

He smirks and wins the game because both this Christmas season and this hockey season are a fucking scam.

Then my younger, much dumber brother informs me that he owes his bookie a bunch of money and really needs the Icebreakers to lose their next game, and could I pretty please be an amazing big sis and date their captain then break his heart so he’ll suck and lose the game—otherwise little bro will get killed, or worse, our mom will find out.

As much as I eye roll my overly large, overly loud family, I’d do anything for them.

Including date the captain of the Icebreakers.

Barf.

Ryder is a Boy Scout. He doesn’t swear. He uses words like ma’am and sir. On our date, he opens my door, pulls out my chair, and helps me with my coat. He even volunteers at the local animal shelter and loves handmade sweaters.

No, it is not cute! Three warm, gooey cinnamon rolls dressed up as a six-five, hot AF hockey player are not my type.

At all.

Nope.

Santa better bring me something nice this Christmas for all my pain and suffering!

In bed though?

Let’s just say sleeping with the captain of the Icebreakers… is not going to be a problem.

Goodreads | Amazon

*****************************

EXCERPT

“You’re stalking my client,” Hudson yelled at the old woman, who was completely unfazed by his anger.

My teammates’ eyes bugged out like the pugs’, then they all collapsed, howling with laughter, at my feet. Even Coach snickered into his gloves.

“You’re the Crusher?” My mouth dropped open. “You’re the one who’s been stalking me for the last five months?”

“Stalker? Pshaw!” Granny Murray was offended. “I’m not stalking anyone.”

“You’re going to be arrested.” Hudson bore down on the woman.

“Don’t arrest my grandmother,” Dakota snapped at him.

“She’s stalking him.” Hudson made a knife hand in my direction. “Do you know how much goddamn money this woman has cost me?”

“I’m not stalking. I’m leaving him presents and nice notes,” Granny Murray shouted.

Hudson slapped a hand to his forehead. “Notes? They’re fucking pornographic.”

“Now see here.” Granny Murray wagged her finger at the tall man. “I’m just trying to rile him up for Dakota.”

“You frightened him, Gran,” Gracie scolded.

“Oh my god.” Erik gasped at my feet, holding his side. “College Boy is afraid of a little old lady.”

I sputtered, “Shut your mouth, Canada.”

“Are you going to ‘oh heck’ him?” Pete snickered.

“Sonny, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You seem like a nice boy.” The old woman patted me on the arm.

Hudson slapped her hand away.

“As an apology present”—she grabbed Dakota and pushed her toward me—“I will let you have sex with my granddaughter. She puts out, and her boobs are real.” She squeezed Dakota’s chest.

“Oh, uh…” I rocked back on my skates. “That’s very kind of you, ma’am, but no. No thank you.”

Dakota had the nerve to look offended.

My teammates’ mouths dropped open, then they laid into me.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Fucking Boy Scout.”

“Come on, Ryder!”

“Jesus Christ, College Boy.”

“Dude!”

“Shame! Shame to the family. Shame to the team…” Rick slapped his glove.

“I’m not having relations with her,” I stammered. “I don’t even know her.”

Dakota raised an eyebrow.

Pete muscled up to Dakota. “I’ll take the apology present, beautiful. I have a very nice hotel suite—hot tub, big bed. Expense account.”

“No! No expense accounts,” Coach barked.

Erik shoved Pete aside. “How about a two-for-one deal?”

Dakota looked interested. The pretty brunette put her finger to her lips like she was seriously thinking about it.

I sucker punched Erik.

“Hey!” Coach slapped the back of my head.

I didn’t even feel it.

“You’re not sleeping with her. Certainly not both of you, ingrates,” I snarled.

“Ooh, College Boy is mad!” Rick giggled.

“All of you, shut the fuck up!” Coach yelled. “Shaddap!”

I sniffed.

“Ryder, you’re kind of a prude.” Coach turned on me. “Dial it back. You’re almost thirty, for Chrissake, and for someone who says he wants a family, you’re about as effective as a panda in that department.”

Mike applauded.

“But they’re trying to… you know… with a fan. That’s against the rules,” I argued.

Coach sighed loudly.

“Oh.” Dakota piped up. “I am definitely not a fan. In fact, I hate your team. Arctic Avengers all the way. I’d never date the captain of the motherfucking Icebreakers. I will, however, sleep with you all.” She blew me and my teammates a kiss.

“Fuck that!” My friends refused. “We’re not traitors.”

“Dammit, Dakota!” Granny Murray scolded, “All that work down the toilet.”

“Definitely snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory,” Gracie said.

Dakota scowled.

“Well, that is how the Arctic Avengers do it.” I sneered at her.

Dakota gave me the finger. “I hope you lose all your teeth out there.”

**********************

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Connect with Alina

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Instagram

X | Newsletter | Bookbub

*********************

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*************************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways! 

Book Blitz! Elf Against the Wall by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #ElfAgainstTheWall @AlinaJWrites @XpressoTours

 

Elf Against the Wall by Alina Jacobs
(The Wynter Brothers, #2)
Publication date: November 12th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

When you kiss your perfect boyfriend under the mistletoe…only for your cousin to scream to the family that you stole her man, Christmas is OVER.

In my defense, I didn’t know my boss—yup, boss. Buckle up because this is messy—was my cousin’s newly minted and totally lying fiancé. I thought he was the Nutcracker Prince come to finally show my family that I, too, was worthy of putting the star atop the Christmas tree.

I was so wrong.

Now my entire family thinks I’m a ho ho ho.

I’m at the top of the naughty list, not in a fun Elf on the Shelf way, but rather in a snide-comments-at-brunch and sitting-at-the-kids’-table kinda way.

I have to clear my name, or Christmas is ruined. Again.

What better way than to blackmail my family’s number one sworn enemy?

Anderson Wynter is this desperate elf’s last hope. Six-foot-five, ethically challenged, with washboard abs and a death wish, Anderson is the perfect weapon to expose my ex and help me get back in my family’s good graces.

That is, until the weapon massively backfires… and no, not like that.

Anderson goes full Nightmare Before Christmas and shows up at my family’s annual holiday party in nothing but tattoos and a motorcycle helmet and tells everyone we’re dating.

Yep, that kicks me off the naughty list and sends me straight to the Grinch’s garbage dump.

Now I’m chained to a motorcycle-riding bad elf with terrible morals and an even worse attitude—one who sticks his hand down my shirt in the middle of my parents’ posh country club and tells me to ride him like I do his bike.

When I slap him, he just smirks and asks if I fluff my marshmallows while fantasizing about betraying my family with him.

As if.

No way am I sleeping with the man my entire family hates.

Because that won’t just ruin Christmas.

It’ll ruin the rest of my life.

Naughty elves of Christmas checking in! We’re drunk caroling, eating cookies at midnight, surviving family drama, and drooling over hot, unattainable men who are oh so wrong for us. This standalone holiday romantic comedy has all the Christmas cheer you can fit under the tree and a happily ever after guaranteed!

Goodreads | Amazon

**********************

EXCERPT

There was a man—a huge man!—in my father’s study, all in heavy black motorcycle gear, a helmet hiding his face.

Snowball had her needle-sharp teeth latched onto the robber’s pant leg, and he was batting at her roughly, trying to knock her off.

“Don’t you hurt my dog!” I screamed, picking up a priceless wood statue my parents had brought back from their anniversary trip to Japan and racing after the attacker.

He grunted in surprise but raised his arm too late to block the statue from crashing into his motorcycle helmet, shattering the tinted visor.

Eyes like a raging winter storm glared back at me through the broken glass.

I hefted the statue again, and it connected with one of his massive arms.

The hit didn’t even knock him off-balance.

“Oh shit,” I whimpered as he took a step toward me.

The huge arm came up, knocking the statue out of my hands to split on the floor.

I spun to escape but tripped on the corner of the rug and crashed to the floor, yelling unintelligibly as he pounced on me, pinning me on my back. His huge gloved hand covered my mouth and nose so I couldn’t scream. I could barely breathe.

“Shut up,” the deep voice ordered, slightly muffled by the broken motorcycle helmet.

I struggled under the massive male body that had me trapped on the floor, clawing ineffectively at him.

“What the hell?” he growled. “Fuck, I need to do something with you.”

Was he going to hurt me? Or take me with him to be—Gulp—disposed of somewhere else?

Don’t let yourself be taken to a second location!

But I couldn’t budge all the muscle and sinew holding me down.

“Motherfuck—” he roared, snatching his gloved hand back from my mouth as Snowball bit him, her sharp teeth sinking through the gloves into his thumb.

Sucking in shuddering breaths, I pummeled the man’s helmet as he shook his hand, Snowball not letting go as he flapped her around.

Scraping my nails on his neck, I managed to drag his helmet off his head and hoisted it, banging it on his face and shoulders as he cursed, finally shaking the dog and the glove free.

His tattooed hand made a fist and punched the helmet out of my grasp. His knee pinned my hip to the floor. As he raised himself slightly, his face was lit up by passing headlights.

“Oh my god,” I whimpered, eyes bugging out of my head as I took in his chiseled face, strong jaw, black hair, wintery gray eyes, and scars on his cheek and across one eye.

“You’re the… the… the…”

“The… the… the…” he mocked as he catalogued my dawning recognition.

*******************

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Connect with Alina

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Instagram | Bookbub | X

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*****************

Be sure to check the sidebar for my current giveaways!  

Book Blitz! Mr. Absolutely Not! by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt & #Giveaway! #MrAbsolutelyNot @AlinaJWrites @XpressoTours

 

Mr. Absolutely Not! by Alina Jacobs
(The Seattle Svenssons, #1)
Publication date: August 6th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Armed with comfy pants, overpriced coffee, and a highly anxious emotional-support corgi, I prepare to face him.

Corporate boss.

Villain.

I step into his office. His perfect mouth twists into a sneer.

There is no heart of gold beneath that suit, just a big black pit. He’s a shark in the frothy waters of high-stakes finance.

He might be the quintessential asshole CEO, causing all in his path to quake in fear, but he’s never had to face down a basic bitch in her thirties.

I am exactly like the other girls—I adore Starbucks, greige home decor, and making snarky jokes with my bestie. I’ve even inherited a stalker from an ill-advised singles party.

Yeah, the stalker is… a problem, one I’m hoping will just go away if I ignore it.

I can’t ignore him, though.

He’s all broad shoulders and snide comments, picking apart everything about me as he circles me, going for the kill.

He would never fire me, though. There’s no fun in that. He wants me to quit, to have a mental breakdown.

Well, he can get in line behind my crazy gold-digging sister, my guilt-tripping mother, and the aforementioned stalker.

He pins me with his gaze.

I brace myself, waiting for the verbal blow to come…

Instead, he says, “I need a date tonight, and unfortunately, it has to be you.”

This is a full-length, enemies-to-lovers romantic comedy, complete with smokin’ hot-but-morally gray heroes, a smidge of suspense, and of course the perfect happily ever after!

Goodreads | Amazon

*************************

EXCERPT

After a cold shower, I wrap a towel around my waist as I step out then lather up to shave. I’m just rinsing off the straight razor when something slimy and rough runs against my leg.

I strangle a curse as the pudgy corgi stumbles back, tripping over the bath mat.

“Mandy!” I bellow, wrenching open the slightly open door. “Mandy!”

“Scram,” I tell the animal. “Out.”

It runs under the vanity and stares at me.

Dammit.

“Mandy!”

Her footsteps are soft over the carpet as she hurries to the bathroom.

“Salinger? Salinger, what the—” The door opens a crack.

“Eep!” She jumps back out of view behind the door.

“Your dog, that’s what.”

The animal lets out a whine.

“Oh, Pepper, come. Come!”

The dog ignores her.

“Get in here now and get that animal.”

Mandy makes that squeaking nose again. The corgi sneezes.

“I can’t. You’re not wearing any clothes.” She’s still hiding behind the door.

“Mandy…” Warning laces my voice.

The door creaks open. Mandy, hand over her eyes, takes a hesitant step inside.

“It’s under the vanity.” I point.

Mandy walks into a wall.

“Oof.” Groping around with her free hand, she begs, “Pepper, come on. You know you can’t be in here. We talked about this, remember?” Her hip bangs into the side of the vanity. “Ow!”

“A few feet to the left.” I run some product through my hair. I’m not one of those men who rolls out of bed, washes their hair once a week with dish soap, and calls it a day. It takes time to look like someone you would trust with billions of dollars.

“Pepper!” Mandy’s voice is pleading. “Pepper, please just get out of there.”

“Christ.” Grabbing the robe that hangs on the back of the door, I shrug it on, sidestepping her as she walks straight into the glass door of the shower.

“Uncover your eyes.” I tie the belt.

“Nuh-uh.”

“Mandy.”

Her fingers spread slightly, and her brown eyes peer at me.

“I’m wearing a robe. Get your animal. This is absurd.”

Mandy’s still peering through her fingers, and she gropes under the vanity, trying to grab the dog. It. Does. Not. Want. To. Leave.

It makes a wheezing sound as she finally drags it by its back feet out from under the vanity.

“I’m so sorry about that, Salinger.”

Mandy’s corgi side-eyes me as Mandy tries to scoop it up with one arm.

“You see me every day,” I remind the dog.

Its lip curls up.

“Mandy.” I point to her dog.

“She went out before I brought her up.” Mandy sounds out of breath.

“No. It looks crazy.”

The whites of the dog’s eyes are showing, and her ears are laid back against her head.

“That’s just how she is,” Mandy says.

“She’s not going to freak out at the charity function. Is she? Do you have medication for her or anything?”

Kneeling down in front of the dog, Mandy whispers, “Let’s try and keep it together. I’ll take you to Olive Garden for a personal plate of pasta, no garlic. But not ’til after the event because I know you’ll get an upset tummy.”

“This is going to be a fucking disaster,” I say to the ceiling. “And where is my date?”

*************************

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Connect with Alina

Website | Goodreads | Facebook

Twitter | Bookbub | Instagram

a Rafflecopter giveaway

***********************

Be sure to check out the sidebar for my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Good Elf Gone Wrong by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #GoodElfGoneWrong @AlinaJWrites @XpressoTours

 

Good Elf Gone Wrong by Alina Jacobs
Publication date: November 14th 2023

Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

When you catch your fiancé cheating on you with your sister on Christmas Eve, the elf hat comes off.

I’ve always been the good girl—the anti Scrooge—the one who sacrifices for her guests, bakes cookies for her neighbors, and stays late after a party to clean up.

I don’t mind. I like being on the nice list.

I kept smiling when I caught my fiancé coming down my sister’s chimney on Christmas Eve. I gave polite congratulations when they got engaged on Christmas morning. And I even offered to help decorate for their holiday wedding despite the fact that was supposed to be my dream wedding.

But when my sister cuts up our great-grandmother’s one-hundred-year-old wedding dress and turns it into a skank show, even though that was the dress I was going to wear on my wedding day? Well, this elf is torching down the North Pole.

And what better way to get revenge than giving those cheaters a taste of their own medicine? This good elf is bringing the bad boy home for Christmas. Hudson is a six-foot-five, coldhearted, tattooed bad elf with a perpetual sneer and washboard abs. He’s exactly my sister’s type. And he’s going to help me nuke her wedding from orbit on the night before Christmas.

What he is not supposed to do is grab my ass in the kitchen while I bake gingerbread. Or crawl in my bed half naked. And he’s definitely not supposed to smirk and tell me to commit to our fake relationship right before he goes down on me.

Guess there’s a reason the good elves stay far away from the bad.

Good elves of Christmas unite! We’re ogling the tattooed chests of shirtless bad boys, baking massive amounts of cookies, drinking all the wine, and trying to survive recently divorced grandmothers who have a pathological obsession with our love lives. This standalone holiday romantic comedy has all the Christmas cheer you can fit in your stocking and a happily ever after, guaranteed!

Goodreads | Amazon

*******************************

EXCERPT

Knitting clutched in my hands, I turned to the bad boy sitting next to me.

“Do … um …” I cleared my throat. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

His finger paused on the page he was turning. He fixed those pale-silver eyes on me, a dusty gray like the winter sky.

“No. Why? Are you offering?”

“Sort of. See, I kind of need to break up my sister and her boyfriend. She’s dating my ex. He’s a jerk. It’s complicated. But I need you to be my boyfriend so I can ruin her wedding. I don’t know if you do that type of work?”

I smiled hopefully.

The book closed with a loud thud.

He looked angry.

“Er, never mind,” I squeaked and held up my knitting. “I’ll get started on those baby socks. Forget I said anything.”

But he didn’t go back to his book.

“So you want a fake boyfriend.”

“Um, yeah. I mean that was the plan. But plans change …”

Those ghostly eyes still locked on mine, he leaned over, his huge body crowding my space.

I scrunched against the window.

“You sure you can handle it?” he asked in a deep, gravelly voice. He smelled like leather and the winter wind.

No. No, I don’t think I can.

I swallowed. The empty Advent calendar was digging into my side.

“Yes,” I squawked.

“Prove it,” he said, his breath cool on my cheek.

He twisted out of his jacket, the ridges of muscle under the tight gray T-shirt flexing and rippling as he shrugged off the garment.

“Give me a hand job.” The baritone voice deepened. “I have my jacket on my lap. No one will know. Just go for it.”

My eyes were about as big and round as Pugnog’s and ready to pop out of my head.

“Unzip my fly,” he breathed against my mouth, “and stroke my cock.”

My stomach was flip-flopping. The air between us was supercharged, and my skin felt tight and prickly.

“I-I can’t,” I stammered.

He huffed out a laugh, smirked, and pulled his jacket back on, the leather creaking.

“Thought so.” He sat back in his seat and opened up his book. “You’re weak. You have an elaborate revenge plan all mapped out, yet you clearly can’t handle having a fake boyfriend.”

*******************************

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, After His Peonies, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

Connect with Alina

Website | Goodreads | Facebook

Twitter | Instagram | Bookbub

*****************************

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*******************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Resting Grinch Face by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt & #Giveaway! #RestingGrinchFace @AlinaJWrites @XpressoTours

 

Resting Grinch Face by Alina Jacobs
Publication date: November 17th 2022
Genres: Adult, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

I might not be able to ruin his life, but I will ruin his Christmas.

Yeah, I’m totally a grinch. But I come by it honestly.

Because of Oliver Frost, I flamed out at Harvard in the most humiliating way possible. Now I’m back in my small town—just in time to suffer through a display of small-town Christmas cheer so festive it will make you puke your eggnog. But who cares about being home for the holidays when you live with your family like a loser and have to share one bathroom with seven other people?

I plan to spend my Christmas purgatory being tsked at by elderly residents and passive aggressively prodded by my mom’s friends about what I plan to do with my life.

I don’t know, Deborah, work in the Christmas market and get screamed at by tourists because I didn’t put enough sprinkles on their little brats’ coffees? Seriously, who gives five-year-olds that much caffeine anyway?!

See? Like I said. A grinch.

I hate Christmas.

I set a nativity scene on fire.

Got in a fistfight with an elf—I lost, by the way.

And threw a vat of Snowman Surprise all over Oliver. Don’t ask. Small-town Christmas insanity.

Sleigh what? Oliver is here???

The man who humiliated me and ruined my life?

Ho ho ho, fuck no.

He doesn’t deserve a quaint small-town Christmas.

He doesn’t deserve a fancy Christmas tree from my family’s farm.

And he certainly does not deserve to win a bottle of whiskey in the daily Christmas market raffle.

Goddamn, I needed that drink.

He should be haunted like Ebenezer Scrooge by the Ghost of Christmas Past. Or at least the Ghost of Hookups Past.

Momma’s gonna have herself a very merry Christmas revenge.

Swapping the salt and sugar so his Christmas cookies are ruined? Be still, my shriveled little heart.

Spying on him so I can gather recon to ruin his holidate? Damn, I forgot how ripped his chest was.

Sneaking down his chimney to steal all the presents under his tree? Amateur hour.

Until I get caught…

Guess I’m spending Christmas in jail.

But when he sees I’m not wearing a bra under my ugly Christmas sweater, Oliver smiles like Santa has come early.

Crap! I knew I should have worn my good underwear.

Hold on to your stockings because the eggnog is spicy and mostly booze. This is a fuck-second-chances, Santa-stalker, holiday-revenge romantic comedy. Featuring Christmas-hating heroines with poor decision-making skills, ripped guys who will leave a very large package under your tree, and adorable corgis dressed up as reindeer, this standalone book has a happily ever after, guaranteed!

Goodreads | Amazon

**************************

EXCERPT:

I slid like a squirrel straddling the roof peak, scooting along the ridgeline to the massive brick fireplace. I pried the round ceramic top off and stuck my head inside.

The Victorians liked their fireplaces.

While my parents’ wood-burning fire was more of a stovepipe, this house had been built to hold a massive fire.

I swung my feet over and shimmied into the chimney. Below me, Max must have figured out what was up because he was barking, the noise echoing up the chimney shaft.

“Dang, I can’t believe I fit,” I marveled. The cold air whipped my face, and I had a moment of clarity.

“Maybe this was a bridge too far,” I said and tried to hoist myself back up.

The chimney rim was slick with ice. My hand slipped. Then I fell down into the sooty black tube.

I stopped abruptly, my teeth knocking together.

“Help,” I squeaked.

I was stuck in the chimney, my arms wedged up above my head. Every time I let out a breath I slid farther down. My skirt was wedged under my boobs, and my sweater was wrapped around my head and neck.

“Help!” I rasped, kicking my legs. “Max, get help.”

The dog’s frantic barking changed to excited yips.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around my soot-covered thighs.

In any other scenario, I would have been really put out that Oliver was finally touching me only after I had flaked on working out the past year and developed a layer of winter flab. But I just wanted to be free. It was difficult to breathe.

“Save me,” I forced myself to whisper.

“Shit,” Oliver said, giving a solid tug on my legs.

I wedged down farther.

“I think you’re stuck in there.” His hands disappeared.

“Don’t leave me,” I begged.

His hand was back, his thumb stroking me reassuringly on my ankle.

“Don’t worry. I’m going to call the fire department. We’ll probably have to dismantle the chimney. I’m sure my neighbors will complain to me about it.” I heard the eye roll in his voice. Then his phone emitted beeps.

I kicked my feet. “Don’t you dare, Oliver Frost. Don’t you dare call the fire department. My mother will find out. I’ll be the talk of the town for years. Decades. It will be on my tombstone.”

“I can’t leave you here,” he said, voice echoing up the shaft.

“Oh, yes you can. I insist. I’ll be dead and done rotting in about three weeks. Then we can all just pretend this never happened.”

“Are you insane?”

Oh God. I had a horrible thought.

He can probably see straight up my crotch.

Was I wearing my nice underwear? Did I even own any sufficiently nice underwear?

“Please,” I begged. “My life is shit. Please just try pulling me out one more time?”

“I’m afraid to make you more stuck. Embarrassment won’t kill you.”

“It literally will,” I shrieked with my remaining breath.

Oliver muttered something that sounded like “God save me from this woman.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, moving the logs and the metal grate out of the way. “I’m giving this one shot. Then we’re going to host the fire department for the second time in as many days.”

After a rustling of fabric, his large hands slid up my bare legs.

“Sorry for manhandling you like this.”

His bare arms circled my waist, and I squawked as he wrapped them around my bare torso, connecting my body with his.

I could feel his bare chest against my thighs.

His head was somewhere in crotch vicinity, and he squeezed me tight.

Maybe I could just tell him to eat me out and then die happy.

Oliver gave a sharp hard tug. My sweater slipped up.

He adjusted his grasp and pulled, grunting hard.

“I think I’m moving,” I called.

He gave one more strong tug. My sweater ripped, and then I was free, tumbling down in a heap of ash and yarn on top of him.

He was covered in black soot. It was all over his pale skin, turning his hair a dark gray and making his eyes a startlingly bright blue.

“See,” I said, spreading my arms. “I knew you could do it. And you wanted to call the fire department.”

He didn’t say a word. He was staring at me, or more specifically my boobs.

I looked down.

“Elf balls.”

**************************

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, After His Peonies, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

Connect with Alina

Mailing List | Website | Goodreads | Facebook

Twitter | Instagram | Bookbub

a Rafflecopter giveaway

—

**************************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Licking Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #LickingHerChristmasCookies

 

Licking Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs
Publication date: November 16th 2021
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

In hindsight, opening a Christmas tree ornament shop in a small town was a terrible idea.

The Thanksgiving turkey is still warm, and I’m already up to my eyeballs in debt from my failed business.

To make matters worse, my knight in flannel never appeared—you know, the guy, the one who was tall, dark, and plaid, who had a friendly yellow lab and a truck and sold firewood, the one who showed the big-city heroine the true meaning of love and Christmas.

Yeah, he did not come rescue me.

Instead, Matt Frost showed up like the Prince of Winter to yell at me about the rent I owed him.

He did not feature in any of my Christmas fantasies. In fact, he was exactly the type of Christmas-hating alphahole billionaire in a suit I left Manhattan to escape.

I can’t worry about him.

I need to fix my life.

I have to make a bunch of money before Christmas Eve or I’m a toasted marshmallow.

No ornament will be left off this Christmas tree of desperation!

Gambling on the Christmas raffle that lets you win either ten thousand dollars, a giant snow globe, or a snack-addicted reindeer? Spin that roulette wheel and bring it on.

Moonlighting as an elf for an irate Santa? Mama’s gotta get paid.

Entering in The Great Christmas Bake-Off in hopes of winning the grand prize? Fetch me my custom elf apron.

I so have this bake-off wrapped, ribboned, and in my Christmas stocking.

Except when I’m paired with Matt the Grinch, I see my dreams of a debt-free Christmas going up in Yule log flames.

Matt Frost and I are not compatible baking partners.

Especially not after he licks the frosting off my Christmas cookies while I scream.

Not like that! He’s a Christmas-hating Scrooge who ruined my bake-off entry.

I am not in the market for a Christmas romance.

Especially not with a six-foot-five guy with ice-blue eyes and washboard abs.

No, not even when he’s covered in frosting, standing in front of a decorated tree, and looking better than an edible Christmas card.

Nope, not even then.

‘Tis the season for holiday romance! This is a full-length standalone holiday romantic comedy with nonstop Christmas and romance. If you love over-the-top small-town Christmas festivals, overbearing but well-meaning great-aunts, and smoking hot guys in nothing but a Santa hat who will melt the snow off the roof of your house, snuggle up with a spiked hot chocolate and get in the Christmas romance spirit!

Goodreads | Amazon

**********************

EXCERPT:

“This is a bomb cookie,” I said happily, taking a picture of the finished dessert for Instagram. “I’m totally winning.”

A shadow passed over my baking station, and the temperature dropped ten degrees.

“This is your big plot to find my rent money?”

I looked up into Matt’s icy blue eyes.

“I have a multipronged approach.”

“You need to get a real job,” he said curtly. “Running a Christmas ornament shop is not a real job, and neither is participating in a bake-off. You’re not winning, and you’re delusional if you think so.”

“Neither are you,” I replied hotly. “They clearly just brought you on as the pretty face. Though why they bothered I’m not sure. Clearly, everyone is going to have eyes for Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Flannel over there.”

“Brody?” Matt snarled.

I laughed.

“Isn’t he amazing?” I continued, needling Matt.

As if he knew we were talking about him, Brody turned to catch me staring. I blew him a kiss, smirking when Matt growled in annoyance then swooning a little bit when Brody flexed his pec muscles at me. He wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“It’s not even sanitary,” Matt hissed through his teeth.

“Ooh, someone’s jealous!”

“I’m not.” Matt slammed his hands down on my table.

“Watch it!” I yelled. “You’re going to mess up my cookies. I don’t want your Christmas-hating cooties all over my dessert.”

“Too late,” Matt said and picked up the cookie I had just spent ten minutes decorating.

“Don’t you dare touch my cookies!” I shrieked.

“A lot of women want me to touch their cookies,” Matt said, the corner of his mouth quirking.

“Doubtful,” I retorted, grabbing across the table to the cookie.

He held it aloft.

“In fact, they want me to lick them.”

“I swear I will have you gutted and stuffed as a Christmas tree ornament,” I warned.

“So, you don’t want me to lick your cookies?” He gave me a smoldering glare.

Lick my…oh…ohhh…shit.

My face went hot under the stickers, glitter makeup, and hair spray.

No.

Yes.

Maybe?

No, Merrie, jeez!

“I have standards,” I told him.” There’s only one man here who I’d want to lick my cookies, and it’s not you, so give me back that snowman.”

“I’m supposed to be judging,” he retorted, “and I can’t do that without a taste test.”

Then he licked my freaking Christmas cookie! Ten whole minutes of frosting work was gone.

“You… you!” I sputtered. “I spent a million years decorating that.”

He bit the head off the snowman then tossed it back on the platter.

“That was actually pretty good for a Christmas cookie. I think I might have to lick your cookies again.”

“You…” I wanted to curse him out, but we were on live TV, and this was supposed to be a family-friendly program. The cameramen, sensing drama like sharks sensed blood, were hovering around us.

“You…doo-doo head!” Not as satisfying as calling him a fuckface asshole but it would have to do.

Matt snorted. “I think you should stop wasting time on name-calling since you clearly suck at it and get back to baking.”

He clapped his hands at me. “Chop chop.”

Fuck this asshole.

“Chop this!” I hollered, scooping out a handful of bright-red royal icing and throwing it at him.

Matt cursed, for real, with multiple F-bombs because if you were some sort of moneyed Manhattan type, you did not care about ruining the sanctity of The Great Christmas Bake-Off.

**********************

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

Connect with Alina

Mailing List | Website | Goodreads | Facebook 

Twitter | Instagram | Bookbub

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Hosted by:

**********************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Frosting Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt and Giveaway! #FrostingHerChristmasCookies

Frosting Her Christmas Cookies

Frosting Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs
Publication date: November 17th 2020
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Holiday, Romance

Dear Santa, I do not want a Frost brother for Christmas.

In fact I do not want anything for Christmas—no annoying Christmas carols, no holiday family drama, and no last-minute presents.

And I certainly don’t want to be a bachelorette in The Great Christmas Bake-Off. Yes in the spirit of holiday commercialism, the bake-off is also a date-off and Jonathan Frost is the prize.

I should be hiding away with wine and snacks while waiting for Christmas to end. Instead I’m wearing a reindeer mascot costume and pretending I’m oh-so-excited to meet New York City’s most eligible billionaire bachelor!!! Just look at those blue eyes and six-foot-five tall frame!!! Don’t you want to take him home for the holidays?!?!!

Barf.

Unlike the other bachelorettes, I refused to debase myself and stroke some billionaire’s ego.

Instead, I threw a candy-cane dildo at his stupidly handsome face.

Then I laughed when he yelled at me.

Of course Jonathan couldn’t take the hint. He came around offering to put a little frosting on my Christmas cookies.

I attempted to shank him with a spatula.

He got offended and said that as a judge on The Great Christmas Bake-Off, he was just trying to help.

Sure…

Not that I’m looking for holiday romance.

Christmas is already a stressful time of the year without adding a billionaire in the mix.

Between dodging bake-off sabotaging cousins, applying for a long-shot prestigious museum internship, and trying to survive being broke in Manhattan, I’m up to my black lipstick in my own special nightmare before Christmas.

And it’s making me wound tighter than a nutcracker.

So when Jonathan offers to put some frosting on my cookies—and a few other ornament shaped parts—his washboard abs and sexy smirk start to seem like the perfect stress relief.

Especially when he offers himself all wrapped up in a bow.

So no, dear Santa, I do not want Jonathan Frost, but I won’t say no to his Christmas package!

Frosting Her Christmas Cookies is a standalone holiday romantic comedy. If you love Christmas baking, hilarious holiday hijinks, and a big thick Christmas stocking, then pick up this full-length, steamy romance novel! There are no cliffhangers but there is a very merry (Christmas!) ever after!

Goodreads | Amazon

—

EXCERPT:

“Drinking alone?”

I stiffened. “I need it after dealing with you,” I said to Jonathan.

“I can’t have you in here ruining the atmosphere,” he said, spinning the barstool around to have me face him. “You’re like roadkill that dragged herself in here.”

“Ah yes, because a billionaire with delusions of adequacy is someone whose opinion I care about,” I shot back.

“I am way more than adequate,” he said, striking a pose. The glow from the expensive fixtures highlighted the slight bruise on his perfect face.

I smirked slightly.

“Like something you see?” Jonathan asked.

“Just that dildo-shaped bruise on your face,” I replied, sipping my drink. “Your company has our first meeting all over its feed. Better than the basic images you have up there now. At least people can laugh at the spit flying out of your mouth when you ran into my candy cane instead of dying from boredom at those images you’re posting.”

“You’re just jealous,” Jonathan retorted, eyes narrowing as he leaned over me. “I have one of the best marketing firms in the city working on my social media push.”

“Guess you can’t buy good taste,” I said, draining my drink.

“Says the woman wearing a reindeer costume,” Jonathan shot back. He reached out and hooked two fingers right at the neckline of the costume, pulling me forward slightly. “At first I thought you were wearing it under duress, but you’re still parading around in it. Like you said, you can’t buy taste.”

“Oh my god! Don’t touch my sister, creep!”

Now Lilith shows up.

Our friend Emma was hovering behind her.

Jonathan jerked his hand back then looked between Lilith and me wildly.

“Holy shit. Of course you’re creepy identical twins.”

Lilith and I glared in unison—or tried to. Lilith was dressed in her standard gothic garb, while I was bedecked for Christmas.

Jonathan turned on his heel to leave then looked over his shoulder at me. “I’d tell you good luck on the competition, but after your little stunt, everyone is going to put you in last place.”

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl! 

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books... 

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more! http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Connect with Alina

Website | Goodreads | Facebook

Twitter | Instagram | Bookbub

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Hosted by:

****************************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Tasting Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs ~ Excerpt and a Giveaway!

Tasting Her Christmas Cookies by Alina Jacobs

Publication date: November 19th 2019
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Romance

Winter is coming—and unfortunately it’s bringing Christmas with it.

I loathe the holiday. I hate holiday parties, fragrant decorations, and hokey movies. If I had my way it would be winter all year round and never Christmas.

Nothing burns like the cold—except a hot oven.

That’s right; against my better judgment I agreed to let The Great Christmas Bake-Off film in my tower.

And St. Nick help me but I even agreed to be a judge.

Holly

Christmas is like the perfect sugar cookie—it slowly melts in your mouth, sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.

I love Christmas. I love the cheerful music, the fun sweaters, and the holiday lights. Most of all I love Christmas Cookies.

A begrudging bake-off judge, I refuse to let grouchy billionaire Owen Frost hate Christmas. The man is overworked, his employees are uninspired, and his life is seriously lacking in Yuletide cheer. I want to stuff his stocking with sugary goodness to put him in a very festive mood.

So I dressed up as a sexy elf and gave Owen a taste of something extra special. You should have seen his eyes roll back in his head when he bit into the perfect sugar cookie!

I can’t let Owen Frost be a distraction. Things are insane enough without a sexy billionaire.

My baking subscription service is in the death throes.

My Christmas-ruining step sister is trying to sabotage me in the bake-off.

I’m being stalked by elves on the shelf come to life.

Ok that last one is a little weird, but welcome to my disaster of a life.

I need to win The Great Christmas Bake-Off to pay of my debts and launch my baking career. Sleeping with one of the judges is going to ruin my chance for a merry Christmas. Owen with his washboard abs and big Christmas package is a bad idea. It’s best to keep that all wrapped under the tree.

But when he said in that deep, sexy voice, “Can I have another taste of your Christmas cookies?” Well, let’s just say I’m unwrapping one particular Christmas present early!

Tasting Her Christmas Cookies is a standalone holiday romantic comedy. If you love Christmas desserts, like to laugh out loud at holiday innuendoes, and want Santa to put a tall, good-looking guy under your tree, then pick up this full-length, steamy romance novel! There are no cliffhangers but there is a very happy (Christmas!) ever after!

Goodreads | Amazon

**********************

EXCERPT

“We are having a Christmas bath scene in the near future,” I said to the camera, “with holiday bath bombs and themed cocktails. But unfortunately, it won’t be tonight. The bake-off starts tomorrow, baking fans!”

I looked longingly at the bathtub. Then, making sure the phone was definitely not recording, because I did not need to be that kind of Instagrammer, I took a quick shower. I seriously could not get over how huge the bathroom was. I could live in it. With a toaster and a mini fridge, I would totally be good.

After wrapping myself in the robe, I tied a T-shirt around my hair. I had frizzy hair on a good day; keeping my curls manageable was a perpetual struggle. I applied a gingerbread-cookie-scented moisturizer while my videos uploaded. Because I was busy scrolling through my phone and answering comments as I came out of the bathroom, I didn’t notice the half-naked man until he swore.

I looked up and screamed.

“Help! Help! Stalker!” I shrieked and ineffectively pointed at the stranger. Between the rippling muscles, the washboard abs, and an ass I could bounce a quarter on, I hoped he wasn’t actually here to hurt me, because he could do some damage. Pointing and shrieking wasn’t going to stop him. Fortunately, he looked more shocked and horrified than angry and violent.

“Stop screaming!” he bellowed. A freezing breeze blew into the room. It was as if the man had brought the rage of winter into the master suite with him. He looked like it, too, with his ice-blue eyes and silver-white hair. “This is my penthouse. You are not authorized to be here. That makes you the stalker!”

I stopped screaming. It clearly wasn’t helping anything. I also couldn’t help but notice that the bathroom wasn’t the only thing that was huge in the room. With him wearing nothing but boxer briefs, I could tell Santa had brought the handsome man a very large Christmas package indeed. The breeze blew in from the balcony, swirling the strange man’s clean and masculine scent around the room. I forced myself to ignore it.

“Get out of my house,” Big Christmas Package said flatly.

“You get out!” I shrieked. “I’m a bake-off contestant. This isn’t your room!”

“What the—” he grabbed his clothes, tugging on his pants. “The Great Christmas Bake-Off? I cannot have Christmas invading every element of my life. This is ridiculous. Christmas is ridiculous. It’s such a stupid, childish holiday.” He punctuated his words by snatching up articles of clothing.

“Hey now!” I said, hands on my hips, fear subsiding. “Christmas is never ridiculous. It’s the best holiday ever. And if you can’t see that, well then, you’re just a grinch, aren’t you?”

He advanced on me. I was suddenly very aware of how large he was. Christmas package notwithstanding, this dude was tall, broad shouldered, with rippling muscles. He could probably split me in two.

Yes, please.

“You’re some stupid little baker who never outgrew the childish fantasy of Christmas,” he sneered.

My nose was inches away from his chest. He glowered down at me. I was too angry to be aware of his half-naked body. Okay, maybe I was like fifteen percent aware. But the majority of my energy was focused on being offended on behalf of Christmas.

“Don’t insult baking,” I said, giving him my best “I want to speak to the manager vibe,” though it was ruined by the fact that I had to crane my neck up to see him and that I was completely naked under the robe. “And never insult Christmas!”

His nostrils flared slightly.

“Men like you constantly belittle the work that women do to keep cultural traditions like Christmas alive,” I continued, poking him in the chest.

“We decorate homes to make them cozy.”

Poke.

“We cook holiday dinners and bake festive desserts.”

Poke.

“We host parties that bring families and friends together.”

Before I could poke him again, he grabbed my hand in his much-larger one. Then, realizing what he’d done, he quickly released it.

“I will not stand for your bad attitude!” I declared.

He glared down at me, strong jaw clenched, eyes cold as a frozen lake. “I can’t even believe this,” he finally snarled. He grabbed his briefcase and stormed out, still shirtless.

“Oh my God!” Fiona exclaimed, wide-eyed, as she ran into the room. She hugged me then pushed me to sit on the bed. “Are you okay? Who was that? Why was he in here? Someone call the police!”

“I knew it! You’re trying to steal my boyfriend,” Amber yelled at me, rushing into the room. “That’s Owen Frost, and he’s mine!”

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books...

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, After His Peonies, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more! http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

Connect with Alina

Website | Goodreads | Facebook
Twitter | Bookbub | Instagram

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*************************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!