Book Blitz! Pity Present by Whitney Dineen ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #PityPresent @WhitneyDineen @XpressoTours

 

Pity Present by Whitney Dineen
(Pity Series #5)
Publication date: October 24th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Molly

I haven’t been interested in dating since my ex dumped me for a new girl at his law office. Since then, I’ve thrown myself into my work as a hotel gift shop designer. While being single isn’t what I expected, there’s truth to that old saying, “Once bitten, twice shy.” And the bite of a cheater stays with you.

Christmas can be a particularly vulnerable time, which is why I accepted a job right before the holidays. I had no idea the lodge that hired me was also hosting a singles’ event. Imagine my surprise when they had a last-minute cancellation and asked me if I wanted to join them.

Blake

When I left LA for my dream job in Chicago, I never dreamed by first assignment would be spending two weeks in Elk Lake, Wisconsin, covering the Midwestern Matchmaker’s new venture to set up Chicagoland singles. I’m a sports journalist for Pete’s sake, not some airheaded twit who writes about the lovelorn.

Unfortunately, the job I transferred for isn’t open yet, so here I am. In Wisconsin. Living my worst nightmare. There is no way anybody is going to find love at this thing. No way.

So, imagine my surprise when the most awkward woman in the world trips over me …

Goodreads | Amazon

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EXCERPT

When the train pulls into the Elk Lake stop, I jump to my feet and practically run for the exit. Unfortunately, I don’t see the foot blocking the aisle. As such, I wind up making a spectacular display as I trip up the aisle for several yards. My performance is akin to a vaudevillian physical comedy routine. Luckily, a hand reaches out to steady me before I hit the ground. “Whoa there. I’ve got you.”

I take a moment to catch my breath before turning to thank my rescuer. One look at his hazelly green eyes and chiseled jaw renders me nearly speechless. Is that a tan? I finally manage to say, “Thump queue.”

The Adonis stands up and reaches toward his overnight bag. “Excuse me?”

“Thump queue,” I repeat before forcing my mouth to form proper words. “I mean, thank you.”

His lips curve ever so slightly before he responds with a wink. “You’re welcome.”

I know I just told my sister I wasn’t interested in dating and that she was crazy to suggest I might be about to embark upon my very own cheesy movie experience, but for a split second, a wave of possibility washes over me. Before I can stop myself, I ask, “You aren’t a lumberjack by any chance, are you?”

His eyes widen. “No.”

Feeling foolish, I try to think of something to say that will make me seem less weird. I decide to go with, “Me neither.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Good to know. I hear it’s hard work.”

I’m going to be single forever. While I claim to be fine with that outcome, I secretly want to find the man of my dreams, get married, have two point five children, and then adopt a Bernese Mountain puppy or three. The house in the suburbs and white picket fence are a given.

Turning around, I continue to make my way off the train while chastising myself for being such an idiot. I step down to the ground before lugging my suitcase to my side. The gorgeous stranger is behind me, but he doesn’t stick around to continue our inane small talk. Instead, he veers to the right and exits the platform.

I don’t move as quickly. I simply look around at my charming surroundings. There’s nothing like a small-town train station decorated for the holidays. The depot windows are strung with colored lights. The old-fashioned streetlamps lining the walkway are festooned with flocked wreaths, and Christmas carols are booming from the speakers against the side of the building.

Laughingly, I tell myself, “You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.” Not that Chicago is at all comparable to Kansas, but a certain Wizard of Oz magic seems to have overtaken me.

I appreciate my surroundings for long enough that by the time I turn around, I’m the only person left on the platform. The text I received from the Elk Lake Lodge said they would send a driver to pick me up. As such, I make my way through the depot to the other side of the building.

The sidewalk is covered in fresh snow, so I’m careful to step into the footprints left by others. I look around for a van with the hotel’s name on it, but the only vehicle at the curb is a dark blue Suburban. Before I can approach it, a gaunt middle-aged man wearing a gray parka steps out. “Molly Anders?”

I throw a hand up in the air and reply, “That’s me!”

He walks over and takes possession of my suitcase before putting it in the back hatch. Then he opens the door for me. “Name’s Paul. You’re my last pickup which is good because we’re expecting more snow.” I’m glad I decided to come tonight and not wait until morning.

Getting into the back of the truck, I’m greeted by a familiar face. “Hey, there.” It’s the hottie from the train.

“Hey, hi. Fancy meeting you here.”

The driver gets in and asks, “You two know each other?”

Before I can answer, my seat mate explains, “We met on the train. Neither of us are lumberjacks.” Kill me now.

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About the author

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Connect with Whitney

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Pity Pact by Whitney Dineen ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #PityPact @WhitneyDineen @XpressoTours

 

Pity Pact by Whitney Dineen
(Pity Series, #3)
Publication date: January 24th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

I always wondered who was crazy enough to apply to those reality dating shows…

Turns out, I’m that person. Paige Holland here—lifetime resident of Elk Lake, Wisconsin, and dedicated seventh-grade math teacher.

Unfortunately, if I don’t fall for one of the two guys who live right in Elk Lake I might have to move. This limits my choices to a substitute teacher I can’t stand or Tim, a guy I went through school with. It’s not that I can’t see being with Tim—he’s totes my type—but he’s so wounded from his divorce, he’s made it clear he’s only on the show to make his ex-wife jealous.

With one disaster after another being broadcast around the world, I’m seriously questioning why I thought a reality show was a good way to find love…

Goodreads | Amazon

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EXCERPT

Paige

Who in the world is the new woman walking into the ballroom? She must be someone special because all the cameras, except for the one pointed at Tim, turn in her direction. Staring at her, I realize she looks kind of familiar, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. I don’t generally hang out with highly polished and glamorous people, and this chick looks like she just walked off the pages of Vogue magazine.

Trina glides back across the ballroom with Tim trailing behind her. “We have a guest!” she announces with so much excitement, you’d think Jesus was here to bless the bread and wine.

On impossibly long legs and stilettos high enough to impress any of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the new woman glides toward the host. “Trina …” she croons.

“Thank you for coming tonight, Eva.”

Holy hell! Eva? As in Tim’s ex, Eva?

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” She turns toward the camera closest to her and offers the most blindingly fake smile I’ve ever seen. No wonder her acting career never took off.

Meanwhile, Tim is standing next to Trina as stiff as a toy soldier awaiting his execution.

Eva walks toward him and when she arrives, croons, “Tim, it’s so good to see you again. How have you been?”

His expression morphs from shock to pure loathing. It’s clear he’s trying to decide his best course of action because he doesn’t respond for several seconds. When he finally breaks his silence, all he says is, “Eva.”

“Daaaarling …” She sounds like she’s a long-lost Gabor sister in those old-time movies. “I was crushed when I heard what a hard time you’re still having with our breakup.” I want to punch this woman right in the face.

Tim cocks his head to the side before replying, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Eva.”

Striving for a look of innocence and failing, she says, “Trina told me you’ve been unable to move on because you’re still in love with me.”

“I never said love, Eva.” Oh goody, Trina’s decided to enter the fray. “I said that Tim wasn’t emotionally free of you.” Potatoes, potahtoes, am I right?

“I know it was hard on Tim when I left.” Eva bats her eyes like she’s holding back tears. “But I had no choice. He and I got married too soon and when Holden showed up, I knew I had to go to him.” Her lashes flutter like a llama with conjunctivitis.

“Do you have anything to say to that, Tim?” Trina wants to know.

Tim glares at his ex. “You only knew Holden for a week before you left me. We’d been together for four years.”

Eva looks at Tim with pity before dropping a bomb. “Tim, I knew Holden before I’d ever met you.”

The look of horror on his face says it all. He’s about to lose it—spectacularly.

I feel compelled to do something to save him from this humiliation, but I don’t know what. Without thinking, I step forward and declare, “Which makes you the villain, not Tim!” I sound like I’m playing a live-action game of Clue. It was the butler in the pantry with a butter knife!

Eva turns her head and sneers at me condescendingly. “Who are you?”

“I’m Paige Holland.” When that doesn’t seem like a self-explanatory enough declaration, I add, “I’m an old friend of Tim’s.”

“Then why haven’t I ever heard of you?” she wants to know.

“Why didn’t Tim know about Holden?” I retaliate.

“Are you saying you and Tim were having an affair while he was married to me?” That’s not what I was saying, but it does make me wonder if Eva had been cheating on Tim throughout their marriage.

Before I can accuse her of that, Tim steps forward and takes my hand. “Paige, please stop trying to help.”

Part of me knows I should listen to him, but I don’t. Instead, I spin around and yell—yell— “No, Tim! This bimbo is not going to come in here and act like the wounded party. She’s the one who cheated, she’s the homewrecker …” Talk about giving Midwestern Matchmaker their money’s worth, I’m full-on guaranteeing they’ll be picked up for another ten seasons if they can keep delivering the level of drama I’m offering.

“Timothy …” Eva says, “I want to know if you were cheating on me?”

“So would I,” Trina feels the need to add.

Tim exhales loudly. “Paige and I went to school together. That’s all. We didn’t become friends until I moved home.”

While true, that kind of hurts. I just told the world we were old friends and he relegated me to mere acquaintance status. But then he squeezes my hand and adds, “But we’re very good friends now.” Aaaaand I melt.

“I think you’re lying,” Eva tells him.

“I can see why a liar might tend to believe the worst in people,” he retorts.

Eva spins toward Trina. “You said he was a hot mess. You said the only reason he came on this show was to get even with me!”

Before I know what I’m doing, I rush at Eva with the intention of ripping every last hair out of her head. Tim pulls me back in the nick of time, and reminds me, “This is going to be televised, Paige.”

“Not if I can help it!” I tell him. And this is where I totally lose my mind…

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About the author

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Connect with Whitney

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

a Rafflecopter giveaway

***********************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Pity Party by Whitney Dineen ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #PityParty @WhitneyDineen @XpressoTours

 

Pity Party by Whitney Dineen
(Pity Series, #2)
Publication date: September 26th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Melissa

I should have used my college degree to become a lawyer, politician, or heck, even a Time Lord—hey, it worked for Dr. Who. But no, I had to own a bridal boutique. Turns out that’s a terrible idea for someone with my lousy dating history.

Every day, I’m surrounded by the trappings of the perfect wedding, and I’m starting to resent all the smug almost-marrieds. I shouldn’t want to throat punch the brides, right?

Then Jamie Riordan moves to Elk Lake with his twelve-year-old daughter. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy—tall, gorgeous, successful, and clearly devoted to his kid.

Too bad his grumpy highness wants nothing to do with me.

I may not be his dream girl, but does he have to be so insulting about letting me know?

Goodreads | Amazon

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EXCERPT

“Your total is two thousand forty-eight dollars,” I tell the beaming bride-to-be who’s nearly blinding me with her over-the-top white teeth. She’s like Ross Geller from that one episode of Friends.

I used to dream of being just like her—hopeful, excited, no visible baby bump while planning my impending nuptials. Unfortunately, life has kicked me in the teeth often enough that I’m slowly stepping away from that fantasy. Instead, I’m focusing on the fact that women like her are probably more stressed out than your average sky diver during a tornado. Will he say yes? Does his mother hate me as much as I think she does? Should we really be spending this kind of money on one party? And the most important—Does he know I was serious when I said I don’t clean toilets? The list goes on and on.

“You’re the best, Melissa!” the petite blonde with the unnatural orange tan gushes. She says this like I just brought her bail money at two in the morning. As she hands me her credit card, she adds, “You must love owning a bridal shop! I mean, could there be a better job?”

I didn’t think so ten years ago when I became my mom’s partner at Bride’s Paradise. I had recently graduated from college and was so full of hope and anticipation about my own wedding I couldn’t imagine anything better. Not that I was engaged or even dating anyone at the time, but I was raised on television shows like Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezilla, and David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding. I’d fantasized about my big day for over a decade at that point.

For a generation that is meant to believe there’s more to life than marriage, we sure spend a lot of time dreaming about it. Being fed a constant visual diet of what our big day is supposed to look like wreaks havoc with expectations. Somehow a wedding has become more about the show and what we wear than about true love.

Had I only gotten hooked on Law and Order or Dr. Who, I might have become a lawyer or even a Time Lord. Note to self: investigate the kind of credentials needed to become a Time Lord.

I hand the credit card back to Brooklyn as her wedding party circles around her. Her maid of honor squeals—loudly—“Oh, my GOD, Brook! This is it!! You said yes to the dress!” We’ve already taken pictures with the requisite signage and hashtags to ensure that everyone the bride has ever met will know where she bought her gown. Hashtags are the backbone of my business. #BridesParadise #ElkLakeWisconsinWeddings #LoveIsInTheAir #ImSoSickOfMyJobICouldSpit

About the author

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Connect with Whitney 

Website | Goodreads | Facebook 

 Twitter | Instagram

a Rafflecopter giveaway

**********************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!

Book Blitz! Pity Date by Whitney Dineen ~ Excerpt and #Giveaway! #PityDate @WhitneyDineen @XpressoTours

 

Pity Date by Whitney Dineen
(Pity Series, #1)
Publication date: May 18th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Faith

I should’ve known it wouldn’t work out.

In all my twenty-nine years, life has never been smooth sailing when a man was involved. Astor Hill was everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner—handsome, successful, and interested in me. Until he started cheating. The cherry on the sundae is finding out the truth less than two weeks before we’re supposed to stand up for our best friends at their wedding.

When a staggeringly good-looking and kind stranger comes to town and offers to take me to the wedding, I jump at his proposal. Who cares if he’s gay? Astor doesn’t need to know that.

Teddy

She thinks I’m gay?!

I’m taking a vacation from Hollywood and going back to Elk Lake. My grandfather hasn’t been doing well after Gram died and he needs my support. Luckily, I’m between blockbuster movies so I can make the time.

My first stop is Rosemary’s Bakery for one of the gingersnaps I remember so fondly from my childhood. The only problem is that the girl at the counter has eaten them all. After spilling my tea on me, she bursts into tears and tells me her troubles. I should be annoyed but I’m oddly charmed.

I know what it’s like to be dumped by a cheater, so I do the only thing I can think of: I offer to take her to the wedding to make her ex jealous. Unfortunately, with the help of the tabloids, things quickly spiral out of control.

Goodreads | Amazon

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EXCERPT

Faith

I’ve had an invisible target painted on me that only members of the opposite sex can see. And boy are they determined to shoot me through the heart.

It started with Bobby McEntire in the first grade. My best friend, Anna, used to help me chase him around the playground as a way of declaring my undying devotion. He missed the point entirely and tripped me so that I fell face first into a mud puddle. That single act of war ended any love I’d once felt for him.

In the fourth grade, Kenny Franks caught my eye. He wasn’t the typical boy girls pined for, which made me think he could possibly share my feelings. He had moderately bucked teeth, a nose that turned up just enough to appear porcine, and he wore glasses. Surely, I was enough to catch the heart of one such as him.

Alas, when I asked him to be my boyfriend on Sadie Hawkins Day that same year, he laughed in my face. Laughed. At me. The disdain I felt lasted through our senior year in high school. When he approached me at a friend’s graduation party and asked why I hated him so much, I reverted to childish ways and threw my drink on him before walking away. How dare he forget his transgression?

Then there was that tourist I kissed—my first!—at a beach party the summer before my freshman year. I never got his name, nor did I see him any summers after that. I can’t really say what I felt for him was love, but a definite hormonal reaction took place. Also, I may have pretended that he was my long-distance boyfriend at Katie Ramsey’s big back to school sleepover the week before we entered the hallowed halls of Elk Creek High School. Go, Crappies!—as in the fish, not the poop emoji.

In high school, I was all about Adam Sanchez. Adam was so far out of my league, I knew nothing could ever come of us, but that didn’t stop my fantasies. I spent the whole four years imagining scenarios where he would claim me for his own. My favorite was the one where he strode into the lunchroom like a rock star taking center stage. He stopped right in front of me before loudly declaring my perfection to one and all. Then he got down on one knee and asked me to homecoming/prom/the spring formal—basically, whichever dance was on the horizon. None of that ever happened.

Obviously.

Junior year in college, I thought I’d found my life partner in Trevor Blake. Trevor was your typical tall, dark, and handsome specimen. He was sporty and studious. But more important than both of those things, he had a sense of humor that kept me laughing. The only problem was that after a year of dating, Trevor still hadn’t put any serious moves on me. When confronted with why, he claimed it was because he wanted us to save ourselves until we were married.

He saw us getting married, so, yay! But also, we did not live in Victorian times, so it was kind of hard to trust that was the real reason. In retrospect, I’m hugely grateful I didn’t believe him. A happenstance that was firmly cemented when I caught him making out with his roommate at a kegger their fraternity was throwing. As far as gaydar goes, I didn’t have any.

I dated a few different guys in my twenties, but none of them sent my heart into atrial fibrillation. I simply enjoyed going out with them while I was waiting for “the one.”

Enter Astor Hill. I knew he was it for me the night we met. One look at his sandy-haired Leonardo de Caprio (from Titanic) savoir faire, and my heart rate took off like a particularly vigorous Fourth of July fireworks display. Boom, boom, boom! Everything about him shouted he was destined to be Mr. Faith Reynolds. Although, I’m sure I would have taken his last name instead. I mean, Faith Hill worked so well for, you know … Faith Hill, that I was sure to have equal success. Even though I was no singer …

But then Astor showed his true colors and once again I was left behind. That’s when I should have probably converted to Catholicism and committed my life to God, a la the convent life.

I might have actually done that too, had it not been for the pity date.

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About the author

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers' Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Connect with Whitney

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

a Rafflecopter giveaway

******************

Be sure to check the sidebar for all of my current giveaways!