Ride or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, A Husband's Memoir by Jarie Bolander
Nonfiction, 256 pages
Published September 5, 2023 by SparkPress
Modern society has a warped sense of the partner-caregiver role, especially for men. Too often, men are ill equipped to handle switching from provider to caregiver, and the “just suck it up” advice so many offer up falls as flat as the Kansas prairie in the face of the reality of life and death.
Ride or Die takes its audience through the intimate conversations and thoughts of a Gen-X latchkey-generation husband—a man who has always had to fend for himself and believed that it’s up to him to solve his own problems—as and after his wife, Jane, succumbs to a terminal disease.
Jarie Bolander wrote this raw, heartfelt tribute to Jane and her handling of her illness to help men and the people who love them through the experience of loss and grief. A frank chronicle of how an intimate relationship can change and grow—even when the people involved feel there is nothing left to give— Ride or Die offers a detailed exploration of the male experience of grief, in the hopes that others suffering through it will not feel so alone.
My thoughts about Ride or Die ~~
(I love to note the first lines of the books I'm reading. First lines can really grab a reader's attention and I love seeing where the author takes the reader after their first lines.)
First lines—"I never gave my marriage vows much thought until I had to put them into practice."
I knew going into this memoir that it was going to be a tough read. We know that the author's wife is sick and he's left dealing with his grief after she is gone.
Ride or Die takes us on their journey through that time between diagnosis and the sad, beautiful end. And it was tough. But then on the flip side of all that sadness and grief, there is the sharing of what they went through that is beneficial to others experiencing the same thing.
This line jumped out at me and I absolutely love it. 'It's easy to lose yourself in someone else's sickness and hard to find yourself again.'
I found myself emotionally invested in the lives of Jarie and Jane and was crushed when she finally passed, even though I knew it was coming. This is a very insightful story and a beautiful testament to their love and devotion.
I enjoyed Ride or Die and loved how the author made something that was so hard for him, so easy for us to read. I loved that we got to see so much of what he was going through and to realize that it's never easy for anyone, whether you are the one who is sick or the caregiver. It's never easy.
I received an ARC of Ride or Die from the publisher and this is my honest opinion.
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About the author
Jarie is an engineer by training, entrepreneur by nature and leader by endurance. He holds a degree in Electrical Engineering and an MBA in Technology Management. Jarie has been managing engineers and scientists for over 20 years and is inventor or co-inventor on over 10 patents.
He blogs about innovation, leadership, management, and entrepreneur at http://www.thedailymba.com.
Feel free to follow him on Twitter @TheDailyMBA
Connect with Jarie
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